Uncubed: The Life and Times of an Indian Guy named Krishna

Sonia gets her ears pierced

Originally uploaded by kms007

She only cried a little, but she’s back to her old self.

-Krishna

Okay, so what’s the funniest Indian name you’ve ever run across?

-Krishna

Courtesy of the Facebook Group, “You Know You’re Indian When…” (and thanks to David C. King for the heads-up, once again!)

-K

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You Know You’re Indian When…

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says “No Food Allowed”

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the
remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they
won’t let you do certain things because of what the other “Uncles and Aunties” will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic
utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer it that way).

23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or
receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight .

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.”

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

33. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. When you have Taco Bell sauce stocked up in your glove compartment or pantry, or any other place where you can store sauce.

As evidenced by my site statistics (above), apparently word is getting around about Uncubed. Outside of my weekly plugs on PC Weenies, I’ve done practically ZERO advertising for this webcomic. If you’ve found your way here, not by way of PCW, chances are you came over here via Fleen – at least that’s what my site stats are saying.

I’d like to get the word out about Uncubed among other Indian folks out there. If anyone reading this is in a position to help me out, your help would be most kindly appreciated!

-Krishna